Get over your best friend crush
We are talking about the type of platonic friend who is your wingman or wingwoman and knows everything about you. But if you do express these feelings and they're not reciprocated, you still want to stay close friends. Entering a relationship with your best friend can potentially lead to a successful long-term relationship, as this person already knows everything about you. But before crossing that boundary, you have to take the time to assess your own emotions upfront and determine the reasons for your attraction.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 Stages of Falling In Love With Your Best FriendContent:
- 10 Tips to Get Over an Unrequited Love for a Friend
- How To Save Your Friendship When You Have A Crush On Your Bestie
- 13 of the best ways to get over a crush
- Here’s What To Do When Your Crush Likes Your Best Friend
- How to Get Over a Crush — Even If You Have To See Them Every Day
- How to Get Over a Crush on a Friend: 15 Steps to Stay Platonic
- 17 Ways To Get Over A Crush Once And For All
- The 7 Dangerous Stages Of Liking Your Best Friend
- How to Get Over a Crush: 9 Helpful Tips for Moving On
10 Tips to Get Over an Unrequited Love for a Friend
I had spent the entire afternoon hanging out and chatting with him at the bar where he worked, thinking maybe, just maybe, this would be the day he revealed that he felt the same way about me.
So I spent the night alone, crying, and wrestling once again with the heartbreak of being rejected by someone who liked me — a lot — but not the way I wanted them to. I was in my late twenties at this point, and this was an unhappily familiar feeling. You suffer, you cry, you write poems, and then eventually you move on. You want them to stay in your life. And because you know them better, your feelings for them have deeper roots and take longer to die down.
It hurt when I was thirteen, and it hurt when I was But I did learn a lot of things that made the hurt bearable and enabled me to have relationships with the people I loved that were healthy for both of us. Your feelings about the person you love are real, and the hopes you had had are real. When the person you love is a friend, the fact that they clearly like you can make it even harder to process as a loss.
You may end up going through the grief process multiple times. The important thing is to remember that these feelings are normal — and healthy. They take you toward healing, even if the road seems impossibly long and twisted. Extra space could mean cutting in half the time you spend talking to them. It could mean taking a few weeks or even months off from seeing them at all. It could mean setting aside certain days and times where you focus on other relationships, other activities, anything but them.
For me, for example, my feelings tend to be expressed in obsessive, intrusive thoughts rather than surging rushes of emotion or impulsive actions. The feelings are just as strong and real after we have names for the hormones that contribute to them as they were before.
In those moments, it can be helpful to remember that my feelings are related to the surges of hormones in my brain and that it is completely normal and expected for those hormones to show up under these circumstances. Another helpful insight that neurobiology gives us is this: Romantic, passionate love tends to burn brighter and longer when there are obstacles.
In the normal run of things, in a happy and healthy relationship, the butterflies and thrills of new love will fade away in anywhere from six months to two years, with 18 months being the most typical lifespan. There are so many good things in life that have nothing to do with either romance or sex!
I make playlists of songs that are about other things. I stay far, far away from movies and books that center around a romantic plot. So many of our romantic stories paint an unrealistic view of love. And then they say something that makes me feel again how wonderful they are and how great it would be if they loved me the way I love them, and — hey look!
My other pal, Feelings, has joined us! It changes the dynamic, almost as if an actual other person came over and sat down with us. As a third party in a relationship, Feelings is pretty high-maintenance. Whatever the subject of conversation, it finds a way to connect it back to what it wants and what it thinks is important.
It gives an intensity and a focus to your time with them. It helps me deal better when they show up. Maybe, someday, Feelings will go away completely and leave your friendship in peace.
Only time will tell. As big and needy and disruptive as unrequited love can be, it is also a tremendous source of energy. For me, a lot of the pain of unrequited love comes from feeling that energy wasted and meaningless.
It can also drive me to accomplish other things. To learn a new skill. To seek out new experiences. To travel and expand my world. For months, most of my free time was consumed in studying and practicing for the LSAT. I had my sights set on a top school, and I wanted to get a score that would make it attainable.
Also, I am hilariously unsuited for a career like law. Fortunately, I figured all that out before actually going to law school. But I have a really impressive LSAT score to show for all those months, and more importantly, a boost of self-confidence in what I can achieve if I set my mind to it. But try listening to them and seeing where else you might be able to channel their energy.
While I was getting over Shea, I made a hat. I spun the yarn myself and knit it in a design that reminded me of one of the things I loved most about him. While I was working on it, I let myself really dwell on my feelings for him, my sadness, all the things that were wonderful about him that made me want to be his partner.
When I set down the knitting, I tried to set aside the thoughts, too, and work on building other good things in my life. The hat was done before my feelings were. When I see the magic and beauty in a person, that never really goes away. But the intensity of desire does. She writes for various publications and has her own blog. She lives in the Philadelphia area with her poly family and three cats.
This article was originally published at Everyday Feminism. Reprinted with permission from the author. Sign in. Join YourTango Experts. Photo: getty. Everyday Feminism. Love , Heartbreak January 2, Unrequited love is painful.
How To Save Your Friendship When You Have A Crush On Your Bestie
One of the most amazing people that you can encounter in life is your best friend. This is the person you can share your most special moments with; the person that knows you for all of your strengths and accepts you for your weakness; the person that will be the most sincere in congratulating you during your triumphs and the best shoulder to lean on during the lowest points of your life. There is a reason why this person is your best friend and there is a reason why this person is so important to you.
Wondering how to get over a crush? Few things are more torturous than an unrequited crush , and we've all been there. Maybe the person in question started seeing someone new, or they're just plain not interested in you in that way. Regardless, it's not the best feeling. Rest assured, you're not alone.
13 of the best ways to get over a crush
So you've been eyeing that cutie in your class for quite a while now, and then your worst nightmare comes true! You find out they don't like you back. And to make things worse, they like your best friend. Out of all people! Before you panic and wallow for the rest of eternity, there are a few things you should consider. Seriously, just watch a few seconds of Riverdale. Yeah, Betty was bummed about Archie and Veronica's make-out session in the closet, but she managed to keep them as friends. At the end of the day, we know exactly how you feel, and we want to help you get through this.
Here’s What To Do When Your Crush Likes Your Best Friend
But getting over a crush? Not so thrilling. Nope, not at all. The concept of a "crush" comes from this very sucky truth: You like someone who doesn't like you back—or isn't available to rightfully do so—leaving you straight-up crushed. And even though the term sounds totally juvenile perhaps it stirs up thoughts of that Chris Hemsworth—looking camp counselor , crushes happen to adults, too.
I had spent the entire afternoon hanging out and chatting with him at the bar where he worked, thinking maybe, just maybe, this would be the day he revealed that he felt the same way about me. So I spent the night alone, crying, and wrestling once again with the heartbreak of being rejected by someone who liked me — a lot — but not the way I wanted them to. I was in my late twenties at this point, and this was an unhappily familiar feeling.
How to Get Over a Crush — Even If You Have To See Them Every Day
Falling into an unrequited love is like a nightmare and you wish you could wake up from it in an instant. And what is worse than that? It is your friend you have feelings for.
Crushing on a friend is the worst, especially when you know the feelings are not reciprocated. When they are, things are great. You know each other, you have a bond, and the relationship prospers. Sorry to give you that image. When you have a crush on a friend, it feels like more than just a crush. This is someone you actually know.
How to Get Over a Crush on a Friend: 15 Steps to Stay Platonic
Get over the crush on your best friend. Dear all i am trying to make a new website for all about friendship. People handle this situation differently. Some feel they must talk it out; others find it better to say nothing. As a person gets older and more mature, they may find that putting feelings into words damages the relationship. Sometimes it is better to be grateful for what you have rather than to cause a showdown and lose friendship completely. Friendships change over time and if you are patient, you might get what you want years from now.
Crushes can be all-consuming — even when we know someone is unavailable, or perhaps just not the best fit for us, it can be hard to get rid of those intense feelings. INSIDER spoke with three relationship experts who gave us the lowdown on how to get over that unrequited love, in a way that is both healthy and productive. Getting swept up in a crush can make us feel out of control, but one of the best ways to get a handle on those feelings and heal from them is to get them out there by talking to someone you trust — a friend or family member that won't judge your feelings, or a licensed therapist or counselor are all great options. In other cases, having a sounding board for guidance can help to work through finding a solution so you can either fix your own issue or fix the issues in your relationship by returning to the other person with a suggestion for moving forward.
17 Ways To Get Over A Crush Once And For All
The 7 Dangerous Stages Of Liking Your Best Friend
How to Get Over a Crush: 9 Helpful Tips for Moving On