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How to get over a cheating boyfriend and move on

Having a cheating partner is one of the most painful experiences a person can have. It hurts you so deeply, and no medication, not even the strongest painkillers, can take away this kind of pain. Your partner is asking for forgiveness. They've shown genuine remorse for their infidelity.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: HOW TO GET OVER HIM QUICKLY: How to Get Over Your Ex, A Crush, or a Breakup

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX INSTANTLY - NO HOPE THEORY - BREAKUP PSYCHOLOGY

My Boyfriend Cheated On Me And I Can’t Get Over It

When Elle Grant's husband started spending a lot of time at work with his female associate, she wasn't immediately suspicious. But something kept nagging at my brain. Grant finally confronted her husband about her gut feeling that something was off. Slowly, the truth began to come out. I was shocked and devastated.

Despite the affair, the couple stayed together and are currently closing in on their 23rd wedding anniversary. But for many couples, infidelity is the nail in the coffin.

A study conducted by the Austin Institute found that unfaithfulness in a marriage accounted for around 37 percent of divorces in the U. It's not an easy thing to heal from — but according to marriage and family therapist Amanda D. Mahoney , patients who find success staying together after someone cheats have one main thing in common: "There's a willingness to process the potential symptoms that may have contributed to the affair versus focusing solely on the act of the affair itself," she explains.

That's not to be confused with justifying the decision to cheat by pointing to issues in the relationship as excuses. But if you're able to get real with your partner on what hasn't been working — without playing the blame game — it's a good sign that your relationship has the potential to be repaired. In fact, it may not simply be repaired, but you may come out even stronger than before if you handle it the right way.

For Grant, an author and journalist living in Toronto, packing up and leaving wasn't immediately in the cards. Instead, she focused on her own healing with the help of a therapist , while her husband spent time in therapy separately.

If both you and your partner want to take the necessary steps to heal from an affair, it can be done, but it's going to be a long road. Here are a few important actions to take together that can help repair your relationship. This is the hardest step and will largely dictate whether or not you'll both be able to move forward.

The answer largely depends on the motivating factors behind the affair. Where was the breakdown? What was it in our relationship that ultimately caused us to have an open door for someone else to walk into it? Having that insight in your relationship is going to be important. But if the person who cheated isn't willing to be upfront about why it happened — or starts pointing blame, repairing things might not be possible.

Grant's husband admitted he was a sex addict and sought out therapy on his own to work through it. He had done everything he could to support me as I healed. If the affair is really, truly over, taking the physical steps to cut off contact with the person and set up boundaries is crucial to your partner's healing process.

Brandon Santan , a licensed marriage and relationship therapist practicing in Tennessee. Because Grant's husband worked with the woman he cheated with, this was more complicated. Being cheated on is damaging for a plethora of reasons, but one big factor that needs to be addressed in order to move past it is lack of honesty. This level of transparency needs to continue for as long as it takes to build that trust back up again; something that Elle says was key to her healing process.

He told me where he was going and who he'd be with. Seems humiliating in the short term, but he understood that that was how he was going to rebuild trust," she says. Your gut reaction might be to blast your partner's indiscretions across social media for all to see, which Travis McNulty , LMHC, practicing in Florida says is a common coping mechanism. But telling everyone in your inner circle can end up backfiring. Grant found support by creating a blog, The Betrayed Wives Club , to connect with others who were also victims of infidelity — a support system she says played a large part in her healing process.

Our culture lacks real understanding around how devastating infidelity is. It can be really painful to share your secret only to have someone respond, as a friend of mine did, 'Well, I wouldn't put up with it. After an affair, it can be hard to know what to do or even where to start. If the conversations you're having with your partner feel like they're not getting anywhere, consider working with a licensed therapist who can help guide the process.

I tell couples they are going to have to bury that first relationship and think about starting a brand new relationship with each other. Grant and her husband eventually sought couples counseling after they had each worked with separate therapists.

We have a lot of fun together, he's a much more hands-on father. Therapy helped him work through a lot of childhood grief, so that his own feelings are a lot more accessible to him. I see it in my office every day," says McNulty. Want more tips like these? Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram. Watch live: White House holds press briefing. Follow better. Get the Better newsletter.

One small thing How one couple saved their marriage by asking each other a simple question.

How to repair your relationship after someone cheats

If you were cheated on by your partner, you may be experiencing a whirlwind of different emotions as you process what happened. In order to deal with what happened and come to terms with it, this is the time to experience these feelings so that the healing process can begin. Are you questioning everything you had in your relationship with your partner? Are you replaying conversations in your mind to see if you can spot where things went wrong?

It's one of the most gut-wrenching experiences to go through. My ex-husband cheated not once but twice. When someone you love and trust does something horrendous, like have an affair that causes your marriage or relationship to implode, you may never get an apology.

You thought you knew him. Your boyfriend was loving, kind, and affectionate, and you found out that he wasn't the man you believed him to be. If you discovered that your boyfriend cheated on you, it's completely understandable that you're devastated. But you can get through this, with the right resources. Feeling Confused And Upset?

He Cheated: 10 Ways to Move On With Your Life

Who was it? Why did they do it? Do they still love me? Do I still love them? Where do we go from here? Many people find the prospect of taking back a cheater too tough a pill to swallow, and if this is the case, the only other option is to let them go. Once you've made the decision to part ways, the next step is moving on. I'm not gonna lie to you: Getting over someone who cheated on you may not be easy, but it is necessary.

How to Get Over Being Cheated On

Being cheated on can make you feel a range of emotions, such as rejection, sadness, humiliation, and even anger. You may even question yourself and wonder what you did wrong. Take appropriate actions afterwards to heal yourself emotionally, such as going on a social media sabbatical and getting support from friends. Then, take strides to move on by not letting your cheating ex impact the health of your future relationships.

Have you been cheated on? How did you react?

For some people, cheating means an automatic break-up. But others may still have feelings for their partner, and depending on the circumstances they may want to try and keep the relationship going. A lot of people who contact us ask: how do I build trust again after my partner cheats?

My Boyfriend Cheated on Me – 6 Things NOT To Do

Is there any pain like that of being deceived by someone you trusted with your vagina and your heart? I don't think so. While yes, of course, feeling sad and moping is alright for a bit , you don't wanna spend the next few years feeling les mis and pining for the person who treated your heart like it was monkey meat.

Getting cheated on feels awful. Sometimes, it can sting so badly that it negatively affects future relationships. The tidal wave of thoughts and emotions that wash over you are likely to be intense: fury, shame, guilt, regret, abandonment and hopelessness. Having your trust broken like this is one of the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking and devastating events that a person can go through. This article provides some practical tips for how to get over someone who cheated.

This is how you get over a cheating ex

When Elle Grant's husband started spending a lot of time at work with his female associate, she wasn't immediately suspicious. But something kept nagging at my brain. Grant finally confronted her husband about her gut feeling that something was off. Slowly, the truth began to come out. I was shocked and devastated. Despite the affair, the couple stayed together and are currently closing in on their 23rd wedding anniversary. But for many couples, infidelity is the nail in the coffin.

Apr 27, - When your partner cheats on you, it can cause horrible pain and destroy trust in your relationship. But there are a few steps to follow that will.

Sure, there are different definitions of what constitutes cheating—flirty emails and texts or in-person, flirty behavior—but one thing is consistent: someone always get hurt. And on top of the pain, surviving cheating is a whole other issue. What do we do?

How To Get Over Someone Who Cheated On You & Broke Your Heart Into A Million Pieces

Cry like a baby There is no pain like the pain of betrayal—especially by your significant other—so go ahead and crawl into bed, curl up into the fetal position and just wail if you want to. So, don't to talk to him until your stress level comes down," says Lombardo. But you should add a few healthier things into the mix to calm the stress of this situation: Get some rest, eat at least some real, nutritious food, exercise and even meditate, says Lombardo.

How to Get Over a Cheating Boyfriend in 5 Steps

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