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Man and woman quotes funny

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Milk Snort! The Joke Game. More Info - Watch The Video. Hilarious quotes and funny sayings about women. Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. Thank heaven for little girls For little girls get bigger every day Thank heaven for little girls They grow up in the most delightful way.

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Men And Women Quotes

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I like my coffee hot and strong, like I like my women , hot and strong I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not. I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food. That's the perfect microcosm for men and women : it takes a million sperm to find one egg 'cause they're all males and not one of them is gonna pull over and ask directions.

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate. Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly. I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life. If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not ' women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub. Rodney Dangerfield. Funny Quotes. All comedians Top comedians Topics. Funny quotes about women 1 2 3 4 5 6. Eddie Izzard quotes. Adam Ferrara quotes. Bill Hicks quotes. Dylan Moran quotes. George Carlin quotes. Jimmy Carr quotes. Mitch Hedberg quotes. Robin Williams quotes. Louis C.

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300 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud

And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… Just couple of nations not talking with each other. Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]. You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other. Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

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We men are often the brunt of some disdain from the female of the species and quite rightly so! The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things. I need all the publicity I can get. Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid.

Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

Sign Up. My Account. Privacy Settings. Men And Women Quotes. Please enable Javascript This site requires Javascript to function properly, please enable it. All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. William Shakespeare. Women Man Time World. Men and women aren't the same. And they won't be the same.

Funny Men And Women Quotes

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

I like my coffee hot and strong, like I like my women , hot and strong I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman.

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

Man Quotes

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? If make a purchase through these links, we receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Life is too short to be spent in being sad and cribbing about things. A funny incident here and there can help add a glint of smile to a boring day. Anything hilarious, be it a funny scene, incident or even a quote, always brings sunshine to a gloomy day. Funny quotes about anything can help keep your life on a high note. At this point of time, all we need is a dose of laughter, which can put our life back on track. Short funny quotes and nuances weave a magical web of happiness and the problems in life are forgotten.

100 Funny Quotes and Sayings about Women with Hilarious Images

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90 funny quotes, jokes and sayings about WOMEN from famous comedians. That's the perfect microcosm for men and women: it takes a million sperm to find.

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Funny Quotes About Men to Make You Laugh Till Your Insides Hurt

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Comments: 3
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  2. Yom

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  3. Gurn

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